


The Vengeance of Nature

by cillasstuff



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Character Death, M/M, Major Illness, Mpreg, Top Jared Padalecki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2439668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cillasstuff/pseuds/cillasstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a two year fight with Leukemia, Jared is in remission and now he and Jensen are ready to have the child that they have been dreaming of. Just one treatment of invitro-fertilization blessed them with a child, but something’s wrong. Jensen gave birth to a child of another race and now he has to convince Jared that he has been faithful and persuade him to accept his child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the , thanks to for giving this bang life. I have no working knowledge of the medical procedures mentioned in this story, it is all gained from research and/or television and movies. Jared and Jensen do not belong to me, I’m just using their likeness fr my story.

 

 

 

 

 

Jared pulled his coat tight against the cold wind as he stepped from his car. He’d forgotten his scarf and wished that he had time to go back and get it because he knew that Jensen was going to raise holy hell. Once he no longer felt harsh wind on his thin chest he moved his hand up to make sure that his beanie was secure on his head because he couldn’t explain the absence of both to his husband or the doctor. There was a time when he wore the hat to keep his hair from whipping in his face, but he did not have that worry any longer, because his trademark hair was long gone. 

Cancer. 

Leukemia to be exact or rather the treatment for it had taken away the shaggy brown hair that his husband Jensen had loved so much. Now the hat was there to protect him from the elements as well as to keep people from asking embarrassing questions that he didn’t feel the need to answer.

He was nervous as he made his way into the doctor’s office to get the results of his latest tests. He knew that Jensen would be waiting there, so he took just a second to catch his breath. He stood outside the door and prayed for good news. It seemed that the cancer had taken all of the joys out of their marriage, before it even had a chance to start.

Jared had been diagnosed with Leukemia a week after he and Jensen had returned from their honeymoon a little over two years ago. During the planning of the wedding, the pair dismissed the fatigue, the odd infections and even pneumonia as stress from planning the wedding, but when the symptoms persisted after the honeymoon, it was at Jensen’s insistence that Jared finally went to see his doctor.

Cancer.

The word had taken his breath and all of his hopes and dreams in one fell swoop when the doctor gave him his test results. Jared had barely processed the diagnosis when Dr. Morgan advised him that the aggressive treatment could leave him sterile. Jared’s knee-jerk reaction had been to tell Jensen he understood if the other man wanted to walk away. They had planned to start a family right away and now he felt as though he couldn’t live up to his part and wanted to do the right thing by giving Jensen an out. 

Jared still had nightmares about the look of hurt on Jensen’s face. So they froze Jared’s sperm and began his treatment. Since then their lives had been about PET scans, bone marrow transplants and stem cell or PBSCT treatment.

After taking a deep breath, Jared opened the door, and when the sterile smell of the building hit his nose, Jared plastered a fake smile on his face, and walked inside and searched the small waiting room until he spotted Jensen. 

Once he spotted his husband, for a second the smile became real and held genuine warmth and only Jensen could elicit from him, but one he gave his name to the receptionist, it was gone.

“Where’s your scarf?” Jensen asked as Jared sat down in the uncomfortable chair across from him. 

“I forgot it this morning,” Jared, sighed, as he resigned himself to the fact, Jensen was going to stress at his forgetfulness. 

Jensen answered with a sigh of his own as he said, “Jared, I know that you hate it when I nag, but I’m trying to keep you well, and I can’t do that by myself. I don’t know if you can handle another bout of pneumonia.”

“I know, babe. I…”

Jared knew that he was being chastised out of concern for his health, but he was so grateful that Aldis Hodge, Jensen’s business partner called with questions and interrupted his apology. He knew that Jensen meant well, but sometimes the mothering was too much and he felt like a child rather than a spouse. 

At times, he just did not care because when he was well, he hoped that he would get pneumonia, that this would it, and that this was the time that he would all be over and Jensen wouldn’t be trapped taking care of him, but then he’d get sick. Jared though about how he wanted to die until he was faced with the reality of it and suddenly self-preservation took over and made him fight to stay here with Jensen.

He let Jensen’s deep voice wash over him, not really listening to what he was telling Aldis, he just was soothed by his husband’s deep voice as he waited to see the doctor. Jared didn’t allow himself to think that this time was going to be any different, that he would be cancer free; he just hoped that this time he wouldn’t end up back in the hospital.

“Jared Padalecki.” The nurse called his name causing him to jump as she interrupted his musings.

This was all too familiar, a scan, some blood work and some more bad news. Jared was so caught up in what he thought Dr. Morgan was going to tell him that he missed it when the man told him that the PET and the blood work was good, that PBSCT had worked and he was in Remission. 

Remission.

The word made Jared smile because it sure as hell sounded better than Cancer.

At first he thought that he misunderstood, but when he looked at his husband and saw that his smiles reached his beautiful green eyes, a sight he hadn’t witnessed sine their wedding day; he knew that he’d heard correctly. 

“Now Jared, this doesn’t mean that you stop taking care of yourself. You need to understand that remission doesn’t mean cured,” Dr. Morgan told him. “Five years in remission means cured, but you still have to watch your diet and live a healthy lifestyle to help you get through the next five years.”

“If I have to grow our food myself, I promise you that he will live a healthy lifestyle,” Jensen promised the doctor, barely keeping the emotion from his voice. “He’s- he’s been through hell and I just want him to be able to relax and not worry about chemo or PET scans of hospitals.”

“I understand Jensen, but as I told you before, he’s just in remission and we need to see him in four weeks so that we can run those bothersome scans and blood work.”

Yeah, but I can live with that,” Jared piped in. “Once a month is better than three times a week.”

“Set up your next appointment with the nurse when you check out, and I’ll see you in four weeks Jared.”

“Jensen, can you settle with the receptionist, I wanted to ask to doctor a question.” 

Jared could tell that Jensen wanted to know what he needed to ask the doctor that he couldn’t be there for, but he didn’t insist on being there.

“What is it Jared?” Dr. Morgan asked once the door closed behind Jensen.

“When.” Jared started and stopped before he tried to rush through the question hoping that the doctor heard him so that he wouldn’t have to repeat it. “WhenwillIbeabletoperformsexually, Dr. Morgan? I know that it’s not gonna happen overnight, but…”

“I wish that t I could give you a time table, Jared, but I can’t. It could be six months, six weeks or six days, the recovery is different for each patient. I have to be honest, there is a small chance that your ability to perform sexually may never return. You’re a young man, Jared so you’ve got that on your side.” 

Jared thought about what the doctor was telling him, and the idea that he would never have Jensen like that again made him cringe. Jensen was a good man, and had stood beside during his illness, and never once waivered in his support, but would he stay in a sexless marriage?

“Look Jared, you’ve made it this far wait and see what happens, don’t make a rash decision on something that even medical science can’t promise you the final outcome.”

“Of course not, Dr. Morgan, it’s just that I want this to all be over with.”

.

 

When Jared entered the waiting room, he wasn’t surprised to find Jensen talking with Aldis. Jared knew that Aldis would be Jensen’s first call; after all, they ran a business together. He was aware of the fact that they had two sales this week and needed to get the houses ready for the public but even though he would never admit it aloud, he was a little jealous of the other man. 

He and Jensen ran an estate sales business because of their love for antiques and collectibles, which was more that he and Jensen had going for them right now. All they ever seemed to talk about now was Jared’s health.

The pair met after seeing each other at several auctions, and because they were the youngest people there, they gravitated towards one another and formed a fast friendship and eventually a business. Jared wasn’t jealous of their friendship, but what he hated was the fact that with Aldis, Jensen could do the normal things that Jared hadn’t been able to for the past couple of years and he felt left out.

“I called Aldis to advise him that I won’t be back in today, because Ima take my husband out.” Jensen told him ended his call. “Have you called your parents yet?” 

 

“No,” Jared smiled nervously as he shook his head. “Can tonight just be about us? When I call them, you won’t be able to keep my mama away. I know they mean well, but I’d like a little time to let this sink in before they descend on us.”

“We’ll have our own little celebration huh?” Jensen smiled knowingly as he moved in front of Jared. “You got plans sailor?”

“Jensen, as much as I want to, I –I can’t,” Jared said, his voice sounding scared and afraid. Did Jensen really think that remission meant that he’d be able to perform immediately?

“Jared, I know that you can’t, but are we past the point that we can’t tease a little? Celebrations like that will come a little later, but right now cuddling’s good.”

Jared smiled, relieved that Jensen wasn’t expecting him to perform sexually, but then he was a little upset that he didn’t recognize the look on his husbands face for what it was, teasing. Somehow, Jensen knew that Jared was worrying about this and walked up and gave him a hug before leading him over to the sofa.

The pair spent the rest of the evening doing just that, cuddling. It was awkward at first because over the past few years they had settled into a routine that involved a medicine regimen, Jared being sick, or Jensen trying to get some nutrients into Jared even if it was just one of those God-awful Ensures.

Eventually they relaxed with each other, because Jared found himself being awakened to head upstairs for bed. Once he was under the covers, Jared lay there unable to sleep. He tossed and turned for about ten minutes before he rested on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He still was not sleepy, but he knew that his restlessness was keeping Jensen awake so he reached out and pulled Jensen too him until his head rested on Jared’s chest. 

Once he heard his husbands stutter snore, he knew he was asleep and he gently extracted Jensen from his arms and made his way downstairs. Insomnia was nothing new to Jared, but he felt that today of all days he should be able to rest, but here he was in the middle of the night watching infomercials.

Being in remission should be a good thing, but for some reason today, all he could think about was death. He was under no illusions that he was out of the woods just because he was in remission. Five years was a long time and a lot could happen between now and then.

Hell, he could be systematic again next week and his elated feeling could be for naught, and that’s why he wanted to wait before telling his family. This disease was a bitch and if it was fickle, he did not want to get everyone’s hopes up.

If the cancer came back, he wanted this one week where he and Jensen had a normal week. There would be no medicines, well not a drugstore’s worth, just them living like a normal couple. Somehow, he thought that it would be harder for Jensen because he was in the role of caregiver.

It angered him that everyone thought that because he was the sick one that Jared had it so hard, but they were not there when he was too sick to eat and Jensen had to spoon feed him, or when he had been incontinent or the nights that he had projectile vomiting. There had been weeks that Jensen did not leave the house because he could not leave Jared alone, so this was just as rough on Jensen and he deserved a break as well. 

This week would be about a married couple getting to know one another in a way that they hadn’t before. If he didn’t make it the next five years, then they would have this week of memories where he wasn’t ill and Jensen didn’t have to take care of him. If he did make it past this week then perhaps they could start working on the goals that they had set before the wedding.

The infomercial he’d been listening too ended and the next one was suddenly louder than the previous one and Jared scrambled to turn the television down so that the noise didn’t wake Jensen. He did not want him to come downstairs and have to spend the rest of the night convincing the other man that he was okay, that there was nothing wrong other than a bout of insomnia.

With the remote in hand, Jared began to flip through he channels but he found nothing caught his interest, but his rumbling stomach made him get up and head for the kitchen for a snack. After making a simple snack of PBJ and a glass of milk, Jared walked back into the family room something caught his attention on the bookshelf.

He placed his food on the coffee table and retrieved the book he’d been staring at. Their mothers had put an album together as a sort of this is your life in pictures. It started with their baby pictures and went up to their wedding day. All of the photos touched him, but it was their baby photos that enthralled him.

He looked from his picture to Jensen’s and tried to imagine their combined features on a baby, but he secretly hoped that any child they had would have Jensen’s eyes. Green eyes were a preference but what else would they look like. Would it be a little girl with Jensen’s eyes and Jared’s hair or a little boy with Jared’s height and Jensen’s freckles? Oh, and he would have Jared’s hair because it would give Jensen a chance to finally tame the wild mane as he had been itching to for years.

Sitting there looking at the memories, Jared finally dozed off to sleep dreaming of green-eyed babies. When he woke the next morning, he knew what he wanted his legacy to be, he wanted a child.

 

♥♥♥♥♥

Jensen sat on the floor knee deep in linen that he was tagging for the Marten estate sale. They were behind because of the time that Jensen had taken off to spend with Jared, but having Aldis for a business partner was a godsend because he understood. Jensen was not so sure that he would understand him sitting there staring into space when he should be working though.

A baby. 

Jared wanted one.

If he were honest, Jensen would admit that even though Jared’s request caught him by surprise, he was not adverse to the idea. Had Jared not fallen ill, they would have probably had a child by now. Jensen smiled and touched his flat stomach at the thought.

No, it was not the idea of them having children that bothered him it was the timing. Jared just went into remission, he was supposed to be stress free, and for the life of him, Jensen could not see how having a baby would be stress free.

“You know I was getting more work done while you were out,” Aldis chuckled. “Do I need to send you back home so that I can get something accomplished?”

Jensen blushed at having been caught worrying rather than working. “I’m working; just have something on my mind.

The look on his partners face changed from smiling to a worried frown.

“I thought that you said that Jared was in remission?”

“He is,” Jensen reassured his friend, “it’s just that he sprung something on me that I wasn’t expecting.”

“If you want to talk…” Aldis began

“He wants a baby,” Jensen interrupted him.

“That’s a good thing right?” Aldis asked, “That’s all you guys talked about before you were married, now that Jared is well, what’s the problem?”

“that’ right but. “Jensen stopped and sighed. “It’s just that maybe it’s too soon, you know? On top of that, I have taken a lot of persona time, and getting pregnant would mean more time off. Can you and I afford to do that?”

“Look, man we’re past due for getting some additional help. The store is doing well, we are getting more, and more sales listed with us each week. If you are going to have a baby, it means we need to get someone in here and get them trained. We can afford this Jensen so don’t use business as an excuse.”

“You know when you go and do something nice like this it kind of makes me wish I had let you win that typewriter.” 

Jensen worked hard to have all of the items tagged and was finished by lunch. Once he took his break, he called Dr. Morgan and made an appointment to discuss whether he thought having a baby would be good for Jared. 

The next day found him back in the familiar waiting room being thankful that it was not because Jared was sick. Jensen was anxious when he was shown to Dr. Morgan’s office. The man already knew so much of their private life, he was hesitant to continue to involve the man, but Jared’s health was more important than pride.

“Jensen?” the doctor asked as he looked past him searching for Jared. “Is everything okay?”

Jensen wanted to be able to shout yes, it had been over a week and his husband was still asymptomatic so don’t jinx it by saying that evil word aloud.

“No. No! Jared’s fine, Dr. Morgan. It’s just…I-well, there is something I’d like to discuss with you,” he told the doctor before falling silent.

“Okay, Jensen, I can see that something is bothering you, but you have to tell me what is in order for us to find a solution,” Dr. Morgan carefully stated when Jensen went quiet.

Jensen sucked in a breath and blurted out, “Jared wants us to have a baby.”

“That is a good thing, right?” The doctor asked echoing Aldis’ reaction earlier.

“What I need t0 know is, is this a good time? I mean you just told him he’s in remission and I don’t want the stress of having a baby to change that.”

“Jared had been a patient of mine for quite some time now, but I do not remember reading in his charts that he was a carrier, so that would mean that either you are or you guys are looking at a surrogate right?”

“Yes, I’m a carrier,” Jensen confirmed.

“Then I don’t see a problem because he does not have the worry of compromising his health with a pregnancy, let alone giving birth.”

“What worries me is late night feedings, colic and teething and how the stress of living day to day with a child will affect him.”

“I get it Jensen, I do. You are worried about him, that doesn’t stop with remission, but babies also mean laughter, utter contentment, and a love that not even what you two feel for one another can compare. A baby would be good for Jared.”

When Jensen didn’t respond, the doctor added sternly, “Of course if you don’t want to have a baby and this is an attempt to dissuade Jared, then don’t use his illness as an excuse.”

“That’s not true at all,” Jensen snapped as the doctor’s words brought him from his reverie, “I want that as much as he does, but not if it’s going to cause him harm.”

“You won’t, Jensen you won’t. Instead of looking at a baby as harmful, see it the way Jared does, hope.”

 

Jensen didn’t want to face Jared right now so he drove to the store and made a beeline to the office that he shared with Aldis. He had the business card of a fertility specialist burning his pocket and tears burning his eyes. He had barely closed the door before the tears came. 

The entire time Jared had been sick, he’d never cried, not once. Now the tears flowed freely and he didn’t try to hold them in check.

His instinct has and always been to protect Jared to the extent that he viewed everything with a jaundiced eye. How could he think that a baby would be harmful? The guilt made him cry even harder.

That is how Aldis found him a few minutes later, still crying and the other man didn’t say a word, and he walked over to him friend, gave him a hug, and let him cry. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” a good-looking man with dark hair and blue eyes apologized awkwardly. His sudden appearance made Aldis and Jensen to break apart.

“No, man it’s okay,” Aldis stopped him as he started to back out the door. “Jensen this is Matt Cohen our new employee, Matt this is Jensen, your other boss.”

“Umm, nice to meet you Jensen,” Matt said. The younger man held onto the door as thought he would have to use it as a barrier between him and his new employers at any moment.

“Where’s Jake?” Aldis asked. “I wanted both of you to get started today and learn our system.”

“Here I am,” a deep voice said behind Matt. “We’re ready when you are.”

“Good, good, let’s give Jensen a minute and then I’ll take Jake and Matt, you’re with Jensen.”

Jensen was thankful for Aldis giving him the time that he needed to pull himself together. Who knows what Matt thought he walked into, but he felt better now that the dam had burst.

As he walked into the ensuite bathroom to splash his face with water and take some Advil, Jensen thought that he needed to thank Aldis for being there when he needed him. Fifteen minutes later, he felt that he looked presentable and walked back into the store so that he could begin training Matt.

The guy seemed uneasy at first, but he gradually relaxed as the day wore on. Jensen supposed that he could explain what was going on in his life, as too many people knew that already. He would see how these two worked out before he shared any personal information.

Jensen wanted to call Jared an see how he was faring , but each time he grabbed his phone to call his husband, Aldis came and asked how he was doing and if he was okay and he realized that that must be how Jared feels each time he called. It was coming from a place of love, but it was dammed annoying.

When he grumbled about Aldis being over protective, Matt just smiled and said, “I think it’s cute.”

“Cute?” Jensen asked. Before he could complete his thought, his phone rang and he smiled when he saw Jared’s name on the caller id.

“Hi babe,” He answered.

“Hi yourself,” Jared answered with a chuckle. “I was surprised at how late it is and you haven’t called all day, so this is me calling to check and make sure you’re okay.”

Jensen glanced towards Matt and then walked away to talk to Jared. “Just been busy,” he explained his lack of communication. Okay, so maybe it was a teensy little lie, but there was no way that he was going to tell Jared that Aldis had been treating him the way that he treated Jared. 

“We’re training two new employees today and the time got away from me.”

“Jared laughed but Jensen knew that he was happy that Jensen had hardly called him all Day. “Look, I was thinking that how about tonight we live it up a little. For once we kick your healthy food to the curb and pump you up with MSG from Chang An’s.”

After he ended the call, Jensen quickly placed another before heading back to Matt. When he rejoined the younger man, he noticed that the man’s attitude was back to it when he started working with him earlier, but Jensen didn’t care. When he could not get more than one word answers, Jensen stopped trying to engage him in conversation and hummed to himself until it was time to go home.

After a stop to pick up their food, Jensen entered the house still humming the tune from this afternoon. Jared’s dog- well their dog- Sadie who was whining to go out, greeted him. That must mean that Jared was asleep, so Jensen went to the kitchen and placed the food on the counter before letting the dog outside while he went to find his husband. 

He found Jared stretched out on the sofa fast asleep, so Jensen admired the view. Despite still having a sickly appearance, Jared still looked as beautiful today as he did the day they met. His strength was slowly coming around and suddenly Jensen could picture him holding their child, smiling that smile that made a person think that they were the only one in existence. 

There was handmade afghan that Jensen’s grandmother gave them a wedding present that they kept on the sofa because the heparin made Jared cold. Jensen walked over and pulled it over his spouse so that he was warm as he plated their food.

His announcement was special, and he wanted the atmosphere to be as well. Okay so it was Chinese takeout, but it was special because Jared had not been able to eat if for quite some time. To make up for the choice of fare, Jensen pulled out the good plates and the expensive bottle of wine that he’d picked up to go with the food. 

Once he was satisfied with the table setting, he woke Jared.

“Hey, Jen,” Jared greeted sleepily as he snuggled further under the throw.

“Hey, yourself,” Jensen returned as he leaned in for a kiss. “Dinners ready, c’mon sleepyhead.”

Jared stood up, wrapped the cover around him, followed Jensen to the table, and smiled at what he saw.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve tried to romance me,” he teased. “I’ll take it easy on your nerves this time, yes I’ll marry you.”

“Ass,” Jensen said with no real heat behind the words. Jared was dead on as to how he was feeling right now

As he watched Jared sit at the table he followed suit, and the nerves were really kicking in. On the way home, he had practiced what he was going to say, and thought that it would be easy, but then again he thought proposing to Jared was going to be easy.

The waiter put his ring in the wrong champagne glass, causing another couple to break up when he had to retrieve it, and in his effort to apologize the waiter knocked over the candles on their table and set the white tablecloth on fire. This should be easier than that night.

Settling in across from a rumpled Jared the words stuck in his throat, so Jensen snagged his glass of wine to wash down the huge lump that had formed in his throat and to give him false courage.

Before he lost his mettle, Jensen cleared his throat and spoke; “So I made an appointment with the fertility clinic today.”

 

♥♥♥♥♥

For once, Jared was not nervous or scared to be in a doctor’s office, in fact, he was happy. The Cancer had taken a lot from him and Jensen, but thanks to Dr. Morgan, it had not taken this, their ability to have a baby. It might be a little unconventional, but the outcome would be the same. Jensen would give birth to their child.

They had chosen invitro fertilization and now they had viable embryos and they were going to be implanted into Jensen’s womb today.

Jared had listened to doctor call-me-Misha Collins when he gave them their options. All of their fertilized eggs had the potential to gestate, so they had to decide how many of the eggs they wanted to implant. He asked them to decide how many children that they could handle or afford right now. 

He and Jensen decided that that was easy, one was the magic number, but the chance of one implant resulting in a pregnancy was astronomical, so he and Jensen chose to have four implanted.

Yeah, four was more than one, but they didn’t want to become Octo-dads either.

All things considered, the procedure did not take long and he really didn’t need to be there except that he did.

Watching the doctor-Misha impregnate his husband was the closest he could get outside of the old-fashioned way. As Misha progressed, Jared closed his eyes so that he could not see the good doctor between Jensen’s legs. He then began to block out the sounds and the smells that told him that his child was being conceived this way. 

As he held Jensen’s hand, he was at their home, in their bed loving his husband, or for that matter, the smell assaulting his nose was the dank smell of a bar and this was a drunk fuck in the back room where they forgot protection, just anywhere but here.

Once the procedure was complete, Jensen lay on the examination table for another thirty minutes as a precautionary measure before they were allowed to leave.

They had a follow up appointment in three weeks, and already Jared was impatient for the outcome.

The next three weeks were well, normal. Jared realized that he was basing the waiting time on his past procedures and that’s why he was walking around with a permanent knot in his stomach.

“Jared, stop!” Jensen admonished him as he slapped away the large hand away from his stomach. “Even if I were pregnant, you wouldn’t be able to feel it.”

Of course, Jensen was right, but the thought of a baby nestled inside Jensen’s womb made him so excited he didn’t know how he was going to get through nine months.

“That is, unless you were feeling for something else.” Jensen said with shyness that he had not seen since they first met.

Behind the shyness, Jared saw a lust in Jensen’s eyes he had not seen since, well forever. He tried to will himself to get hard, but his traitorous dick didn’t even twitch. Not even a little.

The fact that he can’t have sex with Jensen guts him every time the man’s touch lingers a little too long or if he throws out a sly little comment like the one just now. Jensen took their vows seriously and took care of Jared at his worse, now it was his time to take care of Jensen.

“Maybe I was,” Jared teased back and something twisted in his gut when he saw the hope flare in Jensen’s eyes.

“Are you…hard?” Jensen asked as he tried to touch Jared’s dick, but the tall man stepped back before Jensen touched him.

“No, but you are and I would be such a tease if I left you like that,” Jared said as he reached out and palmed Jensen’s crotch.

“You don’t have to, Jared,” Jensen said as he stepped back. “I can wait until you’re ready.”

Jared stepped closer to his husband, took hold of his arms and quieted him with a kiss. “I don’t have to, Jensen, I want to. Let me give you this.”

Jared leaned in for another kiss while his hands were busy working on the button and zipper of Jensen’s jeans. After he wrung a low moan from his husband, Jared sank down to his knees and pushed up the t-shirt and placed a soft kiss on Jensen’s stomach before his lips followed the treasure trail.

Once he was eye level, Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen’s cock before taking his hand and giving it a few quick strokes before taking the shaft in his mouth.

He forgot how wonderful the juxtaposition of the hardness, yet velvety softness of the shaft felt in his mouth and suddenly this was not about giving to Jensen, this was about the pleasure he felt giving this to his husband.

He sucked Jensen down until his nose was buried in the soft hair at the base of the cock and gave a little hum before he moved his mouth until just the head was between his lips. 

“Oh G-God Jared, I’m not gonna last long,” Jensen moaned at the feel of Jared mouth on him.

Jared tried to make this good because even before Jensen’s confession, he knew that after two years of celibacy, there was no way that Jensen was going to last.

 

The thought barely entered his mind before Jensen was flooding Jared’s mouth with hot come.

Heavy breathing form both men indicated that both men were affected by the blowjob. Jared wanted more than anything to respond, to feel the thrill that Jensen had just experienced. While Jensen was still in his post orgasmic bliss, Jared quickly slipped his hand between his legs to verify what he already knew, he wasn’t hard.

“That was wonderful, Jared and I thank you so fucking much, but don’t think that I want this to be one sided. I want you to enjoy it as well. Let’s agree not again until we both can play, okay?”

“What if I can’t, Jen?” Jared asked “What if I can never…”

“Then we’ll deal with that when we know for sure, but until then no more of this.”

They dressed in silence both thinking that this could have – should have ended differently. When Jensen was going to go to the bedroom, he was still so boneless, that Jared was able to guide him into the den where he sat on the sofa and pulled Jensen in close beside him.

“Jensen, you needed that and I was happy to give it to you. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and right now this is us and you don’t have to feel guilty because you have needs.”

 

The night he gave Jensen the blowjob changed thins between them. Jensen claimed that he was needed to train the new employees and was not at home as often. Jared knew that it was to avoid being alone in the event Jared made sexual advances. Jensen didn’t need worry, because he wasn’t going to force himself on his spouse.

Working the extra hours made him worry though, if Jensen was pregnant was he taking precautions to ensure that if he were pregnant he would not lose it. Had this been how Jensen felt for the past two years? With each new treatment, it was like holding his breath underwater until the results came in allowing him to exhale.

Having Cancer was not Jared’s fault, it wasn’t as though he went out trying to do things to contract the disease, and he didn’t feel guilty about having it. He did however, feel guilty about what it did tow him and Jensen. Jensen had been great and not once during this illness did Jensen complain, but the blowjob the other night highlighted that something was wrong between them. 

Somewhere along the line they became patient and caregiver instead of friends and lovers and Jared was determined to get that back. The doctor had not released Jared to go back to work so he had plenty of time to get that spark back. 

When Jensen was home, he wouldn’t let Jared touch him sexually because he didn’t think that it was fair, but even though he didn’t get satisfaction didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy it and if Jensen was honest, he wanted more. 

Jared could be patient. 

There were thousands of books and websites about pregnancy, especially for bearers, and if the pregnancy came to fruition, there would come a time when Jensen would beg for Jared’s mouth. In the meantime, he was going to get back what his illness took. He wanted to get back the easy camaraderie, so he would, well woo Jensen and let him know that he was wanted as well as needed.

The three weeks following the implants were that longest of Jared’s life and by the time they were sitting back in Misha’s office he was a wreck. Jensen was in the bathroom peeing in a cup and Jared was sitting there with his leg jumping because of his nerves.

He didn’t know why he was so nervous because although Jensen hadn’t said anything, he’d heard the other man throwing up after dinner and several points in between. Even though he felt he knew the outcome, his nerves would not settle until the doctor confirmed a pregnancy.

When Jensen emerged from the bathroom, he sat at the end of the examination table and reached for Jared’s hand. They sat like that with no words spoken between them until Misha entered thirty minutes later.

“Well boys, the rabbit died.” Misha announced with a smile.

 

♥♥♥♥♥

 

Pregnant.

Before it was just an abstract idea, something that he and Jared had talked about, but not now, now it was real. Jensen touched his still flat stomach and smiled. He was going to be a parent.

He could still feel Jared’s arms around him when Misha gave him the news. They were thankful that he was pregnant. They will do an ultrasound at the next appointment to determine how many babies that they are dealing with, but right now, they were over the moon.

They were not going to share the news with the family and friends until the end of the first trimester, but He was going to have to tell Aldis right now. They often moved heavy furniture and he should not be doing that. He knows that many people would say that it was too soon, but the way his and Jared’s life had been he wasn’t going to push it.

“Okay, Jensen, what’s up?” Aldis asked as he walked into their office. 

“I know that you’ve had to pull some extra weight around here, and with Jared being better thought I was going to help an little more.”

“I hear a but in there Jensen,” Aldis laughed.

“Yeah, well you’re going to have to carry it a little more, I’m pregnant.”

Aldis walked forward and hugged his friend. “Don’t worry about the heavy stuff, we just hired two new guys remember and if we need to we can take on someone else. Let’s just celebrate this happy news.”

“I’m sorry guys, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Matt interrupted, “but there is a delivery that one of you have to sign for.”

“I got this,” Aldis told Jensen as he sprinted to the front counter.

“Umm, congratulations,” Matt said awkwardly.

“Oh, you heard that,” Jensen asked. “”We’re, well, I’m not ready to share the news with everyone, so I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”

“Oh, I thought that a baby was good news and you’d want to share.” Matt said as he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I’ll share when I’m ready to share. I trust you understand right?”

“Yes, of course, you wanna keep the news to yourself for a while. I get it,” he agreed while giving Jensen a look that would pass for anger. “If you’ve got a minute, I’d like you to look at something because I’m not sure what it is or how to price it.”

Jensen followed Matt to the workroom and identified the item for him, but he noticed that as they worked the rest of the afternoon the young man was abrasive and just short of being rude. He’s not sure why Matt disliked him, but Jensen had other things to worry about.

Jensen tried to ignore Matt and worry about the new items Aldis had chosen from the new client’s home that would come to the store and not be a part of the estate sale. There among the items, that Aldis had already priced was an antique typewriter and it made Jensen smile. It reminded him of the one they got into a bidding war over on the night they met. Jensen had won and Aldis had been searching for one since that night.

Aldis’ birthday was coming up in a few months and it would make a great happy birthday, thank you for covering my ass present. He made to lift it and he thought of Jared. If he saw it in the car, the first thing he would want to know was how it got there and Jared, like Jensen’s mother had the uncanny ability to tell when he was lying. Rather than cause an unnecessary argument, Jensen paid for the typewriter, gave Matt the keys to his car, and let him load it.

Jensen reasoned that if Matt was going to be mad at him, he might as well give him a legitimate reason.

As the pregnancy progressed, so did Jared’s worry. Misha had given them no reason to worry and Jensen followed, well he tried to, the instructions from the quirky doctor. His diet changed, but hamburgers were his undoing. Jared greeted him each morning with saltine crackers for the nausea and once his stomach settled chamomile tea and his prenatal vitamins.

If he wasn’t being smothered enough at home, Jared and Aldis had gotten together and decided that since Jared couldn’t be at work with him then Aldis would take the day watch. At work, much to Matt’s dismay, Jensen was never allowed to lift anything heavier than his cell phone.

When they told their parents the news, he knew that the mother henning was going to go up a notch and he’d never been so happy that they’d waited to tell them the news.

At six weeks Jensen was due for his first sonogram to tell them how many babies there were and on the drive to the doctor’s office, he kept repeating to himself please no more than two.

“If there are multiples you know our moms are going to want to dress them alike?” Jared said.

“Oh, no that will never happen, there will be no Bobsey Twins for us!” Jensen denied.

“Or triplets,” Jared interjected.

“Don’t even say that out loud,” Jensen groaned.

Jared laughed at him as they waited for the nurse to take them to the sonogram room, and threw out alliterative names for triplets.

“I know Misha, Morgan and Michael; that covers both genders and doctors and well, the third one has to start with an M.”

“How sweet you want to name our progeny after me,” Misha smiled having entered the room unnoticed. “Let’s see my namesake shall we.”

Jensen felt the tips of his ears burn with embarrassment that the doctor had heard Jared’s teasing. It is a good thing that they had not been discussing how weird the man was, because Jensen’s sure he would have run from the room paper gown and all.

“We sprang for the good stuff, so the gel won’t be cold, but I still want you to be aware that I’m putting it on you,” Misha explained as he began the procedure.

Jensen was going to say something, but then he heard the most beautiful sound and it left him speechless. It was a heartbeat. He knew what it was because of Jared and his infernal internet searches, but he asked just to be sure.

“Is that…”

“Yes, it’s your baby’s heartbeat and it’s nice and strong. Look at the monitor and you can see the baby.”

Jensen stared at the screen and watched as Misha pointed out this little kidney bean shaped thing that was his baby. Jensen turned to watch Jared’s reaction and was humbled by the tears he saw there.

“I’m not sure if this is good news or not, but there is only one baby,” the doctor advised them in a neutral tone.

“One, three, it really doesn’t matter as long as it’s healthy,” Jared answered for them both. 

After the doctor’s visit, they decided to have lunch at their favorite bistro to celebrate their good news and afterwards window-shopping was on the menu to let the meal settle. It was no surprise when they ended up at a children’s shop and Jared was so excited that he almost tripped over his size fourteens to get inside before Jensen.

They spent almost an hour looking at and touching everything while the salesperson just smiled because she had seen the expression of wonder on the faces of first time parents too many times to count. 

It was hard to keep focus on what to look at first, there was so much that they had not thought about. Jensen knew about the obvious, the bassinette, and clothes and diapers and even those powdery smelling baby wipes that Jared’s friend Genevieve used for her baby and everything else, but there was so much that it almost overwhelmed him.

Jensen had never been more thankful that he had to return to work, but a part of him wanted to stay and ooh and ah with Jared over every new cute little discovery.

The minute Jensen walked in the door that evening Jared thrust a bag into his hands that was from the baby store.

“I’m surprised that the bag is so small,” he joked as he pulled the item from the bag. “I was expecting to find half the store in the great room.”

“I just couldn’t resist,” Jared said as Jensen pulled a mint green onesie form the bag that read special order.

“I don’t think I could have either,” Jensen admitted as he walked over to Jared and gave him a kiss.

 

It was supposed to have been a peck on the lips, a thank you for being you, but once Jensen’s lips pressed against Jared’s, the younger man took over and guided them to the nearest wall as it turned dirty fast. Jensen should have known better. There was a reason he had been keeping his distance except for in bed.

The chaste kiss was now Jared eating Jensen’s mouth while he held him in place in a strong grip with one strong arm as his other hand somehow managed to work its way into Jensen’s pants. Fucking multitasker. Jensen just gave in and threw his head back against the wall and ran his fingers through Jared’s newly grown hair as Jared stripped his dick until he came.

“You play dirty,” Jensen spat at him before he left the room and headed towards the bedroom with Jared fast on his heels.

“I don’t understand what I did wrong, Jensen,” Jared complained “why does me making you feel good bother you so? I want to take care of you the same as you took care of me.”

“That’s just it Jared, this isn’t the same thing. I don’t want our sex lives turned into whoring.”

“It isn’t Jen, and I don’t know what makes you think that it is,” Jared said trying to keep the hurt from his voice.

“But that’s what you’re doing Jared. I want to feel you inside me so bad I can almost taste it, but you can’t and I understand, but when you say you do this in return for me caring for you when you were sick, well that cheapen both acts.”

“You think this is payback? God, Jensen, no, You’re not the only one who misses me being buried in you, but I also miss watching you fall apart for me, I miss us and this is me getting, or rather trying to get us back.”

“Jared,” Jensen started. He was going to reiterate how this was so not fair to Jared, but when he looked into his husbands eyes, he held up the onesie and said, “whenever I see our kid wearing this, I’ll probably get a chubby because I’ll remember you giving me a hand job.”

“Well, then I guess that when he grows out of it, I’ll put it in with our toys, because I’m always open to new kinks.”

“You still play dirty,” Jensen said as he leaned in for a kiss. “Now I need a nap.

As with Jared’s illness, they settled into a routine, but this was a lot better. Doctors’ visits were welcomed and the outcome was going to be fantastic, a miniature version of them. The pregnancy was progressing smoothly with no problems except that Jensen morning was the only time that Jensen was not sick.

An Androcologist was now in rotation as well as the fertility specialist, and now that he was entering his second trimester, they decided that it was time to share the news. Besides, Jensen was beginning to show and they could not hide it much longer.

They put a lot of thought into how they were going to share their news and decided the best way was to tell their parents. Between their moms, Jared’s cousin Henry, who lived in the wilds of Alaska would know about it by tomorrow evening.

Both set of parents arrived fifteen minutes early and were surprised to see that they were having a real dinner of pot roast and vegetables with all the trimmings instead of the usual steaks on the grill. Jared greeted them while Jensen dashed upstairs to get dressed.

Jensen had spent the past few minutes trying to find something to wear and nothing fit, and he’d be damned if he wore sweats while everyone else looked so nice. Frustrated and near tears, Jensen stepped on the landing and called Jared.

“Yeah, babe, what’s wrong, everyone’s waiting for you.”

Jensen pointed the stack of clothes that he had been trying on and whined, “Nothing fits.”

Jared smiled and walked over to his closet and from the top shelf pulled down a bag that Jensen recognized as belonging to a locally owned paternity shop.

“Here you go, Jared smiled shyly as he thrust the bag at Jensen,” I’ve noticed you struggling to snap your jeans and button your shirts, so I got these for…for when you were ready.”

Jensen took the bag and held it to his chest as though it were precious treasure.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Love you too, Jen. I would show you, but our parents are downstairs and I’m afraid that they can only take so much at one time.”

As the door snicked closed, Jensen removed the contents of the large bags and found four pair of pants in neutral shades of black, navy, jeans and khaki as well as four shirts.

He quickly dressed in the pair of khakis and a green button down and glanced at himself in the mirror. Not bad, he looked a little heavier but thanks to the cut of the new clothes, not pregnant.

Once he joined everyone downstairs, he sent a grateful smile to his husband and enjoyed dinner with his family. Once the main course was finished, they served dessert of mini cakes in the shape of booties, and baby rattles.

Their dads frowned in confusion, but their mothers both squealed when they saw the cakes and the rest of the evening was spent talking about babies, nurseries, and the importance of reading instructions for the cribs. Their parents were gone for about an hour when Jared’s phone rang. It was Henry calling to congratulate him.

♥♥♥♥♥

 

Jared knew that this was coming be he still dreaded it. He was still feeling good and there were no symptoms, but he still had to do the PET scan anyway. Now it was the waiting. Had he been so happy about the news of the baby that he’d ignored signs that the Cancer was back?

Jensen and Aldis had a huge new job and he’d sworn to his husband that he would be okay if he didn’t make this appointment, but damn he wished Jensen was here.

“Are we waiting for Jensen?” Dr. Morgan asked when he noticed that his patient was alone.

“He couldn’t get away from work today, so I put on my big boy pants and came alone,” Jared explained as he pasted a nervous smile on his face.

“How have you been Jared?” The doctor asked. “Are you feeling okay?”

He wanted to scream, no I’m not okay, I just took a fucking PET scan and you’re asking questions as though were filling out a questionnaire forMatch.com. But he knew from experience that no matter how much he pushed for a direct answer, Morgan wasn’t going to give Jared his answers after his little interview.

“I’m good,” he responded as he ran his fingers through his short hair. “We’re expecting a baby.”

“Jared that’s wonderful! Now you really have a reason to take care of yourself and not just because Jensen is badgering you; well, since you gave me some good news, let me return the favor, your white cell count is normal and there is no signs of the cancer having returned.”

Jared exhaled at the news. He knew that he talked Jensen into the pregnancy, but he wanted to be there to help raise their child and he was going to do everything in his power to do so.

“Thank you, Dr. Morgan.”

“You don’t have to thank me Jared; you helped with your healing as well as the treatment. We’re not out of the woods yet, but this is a step in the right direction.”

Jared was smiling when he left the doctor’s office and was still smiling when he reached Ackles- Hodge Galleries. 

“Hi, may I help you?” a young man with dark hair and blue eyes asked when he entered the store.

“Yes, I’m looking for Jensen.”

“Whom shall I say is asking for him?” 

“Who are you?” Jared asked because he didn’t recognize the young man, and then it clicked that this must be one of the new employees that Jensen and Aldis hired.

“Jared,” Jensen said frantically when he spotted his husband. “Well?”

“Still in remission,” he confirmed and was rewarded with an arm full of Jensen. 

“I was so worried, so worried.” 

Jared leaned in and gave Jensen a kiss to calm them both down when a dry voice interrupted, “Perhaps you should take that to the office, Ald… the customers do not need to see that.

“What’s his problem?” Jared asked a furious Jensen pulled a he into the office.

“I’m not sure but I know that he doesn’t like me and I guess that you’re collateral damage.”

Jared remained in the office with Jensen for the next two hours, where he was put to work. It was a good day and Jared was happy to do something other than sit around the house waiting or his other half to come home. The only thing that put blight on the day was that each time Matt entered the office he shot them dirty looks.

“He knows that he works for you, right?” a bemused Jared asked after his blast of hatred from the young man.

“I still don’t understand it; he’s totally different when he works with Aldis. I asked to switch trainees, but Jake and Aldis were happy working together and I didn’t want to push.”

Jared was going to respond but then Jensen stood up to reach for a vase on the shelf behind him and the action caused his t-shirt to raise exposing his thickening midriff, and Jared’s dick twitched.

The sensation was fleeting but he most definitely felt a twitch. 

As Jensen placed the vase back on the shelf after cataloguing it, Jared stared at his stomach again, but this time there was no response. So instead, he tried to imagine Jensen naked and laid out naked on their bed waiting for him, and still nothing. It would have been easy to think that he had imagined it, but he hadn’t he felt that twitch.

Shortly afterwards, Jared told Jensen that he was tired and wanted to go home for a nap, and he felt guilty when Jensen became worried, but he needed to be at home and explore what just happened.  
He was barely inside the house before he was tearing off his clothes as he raced towards the bedroom. Once there he put his favorite DVD in the player and lay on the bed, hoping that the visual stimulation and the moans would work, but nothing.

Thinking that he needed to coax a response from his dick, he reached into the drawer on the nightstand and there was no lube, so he hurried into the ensuite bathroom and grabbed the expensive lotion Jensen loved and jumped back on the bed.

Quickly squeezing a small dollop into the palm of his hand, he closed his eyes and began to stroke his cock, and after a few seconds, he realized that he was still soft and now tears were coming from behind the closed lids.

He became angry with himself because he had allowed himself to hope, and actually wish for something that might never happen.

Opening his eyes, Jared caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, naked with a limp dick covered in lotion, and thought he looked pathetic. In a fit of anger, he threw the bottle of lotion at the mirror so he would not have to look at himself any longer.

While there was some satisfaction in breaking the mirror, albeit temporary, Jared realized he had created another mess. Not only did he have to clean up all of the broken glass, he had to come up with a plausible explanation for Jensen.

He cleaned up the mess in the bedroom, but the one in his head wouldn’t go away. He was angry and sad about the situation but in the end, he told Jensen the truth. They had gotten this far together; hiding shit now would serve no purpose.

“Perhaps you should go see Dr. Morgan,” Jensen suggested as they lay in bed later that night.

“Why? Remember the little blue pill interferes with my meds, so I can’t take them, and it’s much too early to think about a penile implant, so let’s just wait it out.”

“Jay…”

“It’s okay, Jen, really it is,” he sighed, “or rather as good as it can be for now. It may not seem like it, but this gives me hope; It’s just that I’d rather had not felt anything at all than to have had that fleeting bit of what could be.”

Jared felt good about his decision to tell Jensen about what happened earlier today, but questioned it later. If was uncomfortable now because green eyes seemed to be zeroed in on his crotch searching for signs of arousal. It was silly of Jensen to think that he had to be on dick duty, because did the silly man not realize that if he could become even semi-erect, he would pounce on that ass before Jensen could comment.

In the end Jared was not sure who was more obsessed, him or Jensen, because when Jensen wasn’t staring at his crotch, he was staring at Jensen’s ass, but no matter how much he wished for it, it didn’t happen, except for when it did.

There was no staring from either man, they were enjoying dinner out with friends, Aldis and his current boy, Danneel and Christian Kane and Chad and Kenzie Murray. It was a night like all others, Chad was being an ass, Chris was teasing Jensen about being pregnant, and Chad decided to play keep away with Jensen’s phone.

Jensen reached for the phone and his shirt slid up and exposed his stomach and damn. This was more than a twitch. He wasn’t fully erect, but the pleasure was so sharp that he felt as though he was going to come in his pants. It felt so good that before he thought about it, he moaned, aloud drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“You okay Jay?” Chad asked the alarm evident in his voice.

Instead of answering, he stood up and made a beeline for the men’s restroom and he could hear Jensen in close pursuit. At least he hoped it was Jensen because this would be an embarrassing thing to explain to any of his friends.

“Jared, baby, what’s wrong?” a worried Jensen asked. 

“Oh, God Jen, for a second it felt like I was going to come in my pants and it caught me by surprise ’s all.”

“Are you…’’ Jensen swallowed before continuing. “Hard?”

“No, was a little and now it’s gone,” Jared lamented. “I wish that my body would stop fucking with me and just let me have this.”

“It’s trying Jare, give it time,” Jensen reassured him, “but I just wanted you to know that you scared the shit out of Chad. Chris too, but he’s trying to be macho about it for Danni.”

“I’ll just tell them that I was a little sick, they’ll believe that.”

“I thought that Jenny here was supposed to be the one with morning sickness, “Chad joked when they returned to the table.

“That’s the best you got Blondie?’’ Jensen challenged trying to deflect the attention away from Jared. “I’m off alcohol and coffee for the next 7 months, so it’s best that you not piss me off and that includes calling me Jenny.”

Jared counted the evening a success, false alarm notwithstanding. It had been a long time since they had been out with friends like that, and the best part of it was that they had almost made it through without any one asking about his health. That was the reason they had stopped hanging out with their friends, Jared’s illness had made everyone so uncomfortable that it wasn’t worth trying anymore.

As the weeks wore on the only thing changed was Jensen was getting bigger and horny and Jared’s dick kept teasing him. He had not been this frustrated since he and Jensen began dating. Each night he would return home and jack off with the other man’s name on his lips. He would give anything to be able to do that now.

While Jensen was in the shower, Jared lay on their bed staring gob smacked at the latest grainy ultrasound of their baby. This kid was not shy about showing the goods.

It was a boy. 

They were going to have a beautiful little boy and he would live to see it. It seemed that each day since he went into remission, he waited for each malady he incurred to send him back to Dr. Morgan’s office only to hear that the cancer was back. 

That fear had only intensified since Jensen fell pregnant.

Jared pushed that fear aside and smiled when at Jensen as the pregnant man emerged from the shower. 

“Damn you look sexy as hell,” he flirted as he stared at his husband’s middle. The towel would no longer fit around his belly so he had it tied under the bump of their child. 

Even though he was teasing, there was truth behind his words, because Jensen was still the gorgeous man that he fell in love with when he was eighteen. Well, he was the same but different. Jensen carried himself with the confidence of a man now and then there was the slight swell of his stomach. The fact that it was his child made him even more beautiful to Jared.

Jared continued to catalogue all of Jensen’s attributes, the muscled chest, the freckles that he loved (but Jensen hated) and those dusky nipples that he’d spent hours…oh.

The first time since Jared began his treatment two years ago, he was hard. The sight of his husband’s naked body made his cock stand up in attention and leak with want. He wasn’t sure if he could follow through, but he would be damned if he wasn’t going to try.

With a purpose that he has not possessed in years, Jared jumped from the bed and walked over to Jensen where he was rummaging through the drawer for a clean pair of boxers and pulled Jensen’s body flush to his. He felt the shorter man relax in his embrace, especially when Jared’s hands reached around and cradled their child.

Jensen’s relaxed state only lasted a few seconds, and Jared looked into the mirror and noted the changed expression on Jensen’s face when he felt Jared’s erection.

“Jared?” he whispered.

“Mm?” Jared murmured as he leant forward to place kisses along Jensen’s freshly shaven jawline.

“Is that…” 

“Yes,” Jared chuckled. “It is. Apparently your baby bump is a huge turn on, because not only do I want to fuck you, I’ll be able to follow through.”

“Please don’t tease a horny, pregnant man,” Jensen begged as he ground his ass into Jared’s crotch.

“’S feel like I’m teasing?” 

“Not at all,” Jensen answered as he turned in Jared’s hold and pulled the tall man’s head down and kissed him,

Without breaking the kiss, Jared tightened his grip, which was now on Jensen’s hip and backed up until the back of his knees hit the bed and suddenly the months- the years of forced celibacy came crashing in and he wanted everything.

 

 

 


	2. Part 2

It was sensory overload.

Groaning because he finally had to break the kiss when he didn’t want to, Jared positioned their bodies so that he was straddling Jensen who was moaning and writhing underneath him like a two-dollar whore.

“How come I’m the only one naked?” Jensen complained as he began to push at Jared’s t-shirt. “C’mon on, Jay.”

Normally the level of frustration that Jensen was exhibiting would make Jared mile and tease his lover more, but now that he had the ability to physically show his love, there was nothing humorous about Jensen’s frustration.

“Help me Jared,” Jensen demanded as he rucked up the offending garment.

Balancing himself on his knees, Jared swatted Jensen’s hands away and pulled the shirt over his head before flopping on his back on the other side of the bed to shuck off his sleep pants and boxers. Once he was nude, Jared resumed his position of straddling Jensen.

Although Jensen felt great underneath him before, now without the bothersome clothes, the feel of skin against skin and their cocks aligning together elicited a moan from both men, and soon Jared forget the burning need to bury himself in Jensen and gave into the feeling and began grinding their cocks together.

The sight of Jensen’s head thrown back against the pillow, his eyes closed and biting his full lips until they were near bloody, almost sent Jared over the edge. With strength, he did not know that he possessed, Jared reached between them and placed his hand at the base of his dick and rolled off his husband.

“Jay-what?” Jensen’s eyes flew open at the loss of Jared’s large body.

As he lay on his back with a chokehold on his dick, Jared heard the confusion in Jensen’s voice but he was panting so hard that he could not answer. He didn’t know how long or when his next erection would be and he wasn’t going to waste this one by rubbing one out on Jensen. He wanted in!

“Jen,” he tried to explain, “not like this.”

“Okay,” Jensen replied.

Jared watched in horror as Jensen turned his back to him, and for a moment Jared thought that Jensen did not understand what he was trying to say and was going to leave the bed, but had never been more relieved when he noticed that Jensen was just retrieving lube from the nightstand.

Jared studied Jensen as he got on all fours with his ass practically in Jared’s face as Jensen slid a finger slick with lube past his tight pink muscle. He was fascinated at the way Jensen’s slender finger moved in and out of that tight pink hole.

By the time Jensen added a second finger, Jared was fighting to keep from stroking his cock in the slow rhythm that Jensen had set. Despite the tight hold he had on it, his cock was doing its best to get in on the action, because it was twitching and seeping precome.

Traitor.

“Jensen,” He begged, “Please.”

“Just getting myself ready,” Jensen explained in a voice that was not quite steady. “When you’re ready to fuck me, all you have to do is slide in.”

Fuck the man was trying to kill him, he was doing his best to stave off his orgasm but Jensen wasn’t helping because everything that he wanted was staring him in the face, literally.

To keep from coming in his hand Jared make himself think about the suspicious lump that Sadie threw up yesterday that almost had him doing the same. Each time he thought that it was working, he’d turn his head and see Jensen’s fingers working in and out of his ass, and he was on the edge again.

Closing his eyes in combination with thinking about Sadie’s regurgitation worked. When he removed his hand, Jared moved to his knees behind his wicked husband and removed his fingers and replaced it with his tongue. He had been prepared for the medicinal taste of the lube, but leave it to Jensen to have chosen a strawberry flavored lube.

Jared grabbed the globes of Jensen’s ass and separated the cheeks so that he could get his tongue on further because as much as he liked strawberries, he wanted to savor the taste of Jensen.

As Jared’s tongue worked the furled muscle, Jensen thrust his hips back to meet each swipe of Jared’s tongue, and Jared found himself getting harder at the delicious sounds that were coming from his husband. He had to stop, because there was no way he could lay there and hold off another orgasm.

Standing up on his knees again, Jared aligned his cock with Jensen’s hole and slid the head in and began to tremble at how good it felt. Slowly, inch by torturous inch, he fed his cock to Jensen until he felt the swell of Jensen’s firm ass.

It has been a little over two years since he’s been like this with Jensen s as he let his husbands body adjust to his intrusion, he marveled at how tight the slick channel was, it was almost virginal tight. As he reveled in the tightness, he also reveled in the closeness and how it seemed that their heartbeats were synchronized through this intimate connection.

“Move, Jared!” Jensen demanded.

Who was he to not give his lover what he wanted. At first his movements were slow shallow thrusts because Jensen was so tight that he felt virginal and he didn’t want to hurt him.

Once he began to build up a steady rhythm he stopped holding himself back and let his body tumble towards the orgasm that he had been fighting off.

Having been denied this for so long, Jared wanted the visual as well as the sensory, which each thrust he went deeper into that slick wet heat, he watched . The ring of muscle clung to his cock each time he withdrew as though it didn’t want to let Jared go. Jared was okay with that because he wanted to stay buried there.

As the frissons of pleasure began to creep along his spine, Jared began to change his angle and quicken his thrust to connect with Jensen’s prostate,

As Jensen began to mewl, Jared reached around and placed his hand on the pregnant man’s cock. With each tug, Jensen pushed back to meet Jared’s thrust, and grinding down when his ass met Jared’s groin.

“Ohgodogodogod,” Jared moaned as he let the pleasure wash over him, so close Jen, so close.”

He shuddered as he ran his thumb over the head of Jensen’s dick. Which each tug of his hand he felt Jensen’s channel tighten making Jared know that Jensen was close to coming.

“Gonna come, Jared,” Jensen moaned, “Gonna…”

He was doing all he could to hold out so that Jensen would come first, but watch time he experienced the drag of his cock inside Jensen, he didn’t think that he was going to last.

“Come for me, Jen,” Jared encouraged.

It took one more stroke and Jensen was spilling wet and warm over Jared large hand.

The spasms from the already impossibly tight hole had him coming as well six strokes later.

Hooking his arm around Jensen’s waist, Jared pulled him into his side and he settled on his back. He placed soft kisses, into the smaller man’s neck and said, “I love you.”

“You too,” Jensen returned sleepily before drifting asleep.

Now that the endorphins were no longer coursing through his body, Jared became aware of the sticky mess and made his way into the adjoining bathroom to retrieve a wet cloth to clean them both before Jensen’s even breathing lulled him to sleep as well.

 

The wonderful and the frustrating thing about the human body is that it never behaved the way it was expected to. After a night of loving, Jared woke tired and feeling wonderfully sated. After last night, Jared fully expected morning wood when he woke, but even before he touched his crotch for confirmation, he knew that he was limp. Even with a full bladder, he was soft and he bit back a groan of frustration.

He rolled out of bed and into the shower because he didn’t want Jensen to wake up and expect a repeat performance. He knew that the man would understand, but Jared couldn’t face the pity that he would see in Jensen’s eyes.

 

vvvv

 

The baby was overdue, and Jared read somewhere that sex will help speed the birth process, so when he can he is all over Jensen, and Jensen does not want to deny him because he does not want to deal with the depression that comes with said denial.

Aldis made him leave their sale because he was feeling off today. Jensen was not sure what was going on but it did not help that a furious Matt was elected to drive Jensen home.

Jensen let out a sigh of relief when he entered the house and Jared was not there, Sherry and Gerald called and demanded that Jared meet them for lunch and apparently, he was still with them. Jensen hoped to be asleep when he returned.

He glanced at the comfortable sofa in the den, and knew that with his large stomach, it would not be comfortable for long so he bit the bullet and headed for the stairs and their bedroom. When his foot hit the second stair, the twinge that had been making him uncomfortable all day suddenly turned into a burning hot pain, and he felt something warm run down his leg before everything turned black.

When Jensen woke, he found that both his and Jared’s families surrounded him, but there was only one person, he wanted to see, his baby. As he looked around for the baby, Jensen did not see him. Where was he? Oh God did he not make it?

“Jared?” Jensen rasped, “Where’s the baby? Why isn’t he in here?”

“Shhh, Jen, everything’s okay, I wanted you to be awake when we first met him. You did all of the hard work, you should be the first to hold him.” Jared explained.

The big man reached over, pushed the nurses call button, and informed the secretary that they were ready to see the baby.

Jensen offered Jared a tired smile for his thoughtfulness, but he was surprised that Jared was able to wait for him to come around.

“He even guilted us from staying away from the nursery,” Donna Ackles pouted.

“Do you know hard that is for a new grandmother,” Sherry Padalecki chimed in.

“Well it seems that you won’t have to wait much longer,” Jensen informed them tiredly when the nurse knocked before opening the heavy door.

When the nurse entered the room with the swaddled child, everyone in the room parted like Moses parting the red sea, but the soon crowded around Jensen’s bed so that they could all get a peek at their newest family member.

Carefully accepting the precious bundle from the nurse, Jensen’s smile changed to a frown once he saw the baby. When he pulled the blanket back, he took in the chocolate brown eyes, the caramel skin and the curly black hair he was disappointed and angry, because as beautiful as the child was, it wasn’t his.

“Excuse me, “Jensen stopped the nurse as she made to leave, “I think that you’ve brought me the wrong baby.”

“No, Mr. Ackles-Padalecki, we place a band on his wrist before he leaves the birthing room and it does not come off until he leaves the hospital, so this is your child. If you need any help with feeding, my name is Amanda just call me and I will be glad to assist.” Amanda said as she practically ran from the room.

Jensen watched her leave the room, he looked at the child in his arms, as beautiful as he was, he couldn’t belong to him because this child was… black.

“Jensen?” his mother asked. “What have you done?”

“I thought that you loved my boy, Sherri Padalecki, accused. “I bragged about what a good man my son had, taking care of him unselfishly, but it looks as though I was wrong.”

“Jen…” his sister Mackenzie whined.

“Out! Everybody out,” Jared growled. “Get out now.”

There was complaining from both families because both sides wanted to defend their family member, but the expression on Jared’s face made them think better of staying.

The room was quiet when the last of their family left. Jared didn’t speak right way and Jensen could see that he was fighting for control before he spoke. Jensen felt that he should apologize, but he didn’t know what for, because he hadn’t slept with anyone since after Jared began his PBSCT treatments, but he had no explanation for this baby.

He could feel the anger coming from Jared, but he didn’t know how to respond or to make this right, because no matter what he said, the baby he held in his arms made him a liar.

Jensen was terrified at what Jared was thinking, what his reaction was going to be so he kept his eyes on the small bundle fidgeting in his arms. He had not cheated on Jared, so how did this happen, how did another man father their-his child?

Unable to put it off any longer, Jensen looked up to face Jared and there was an anger etched on his husbands face like nothing he has ever seen before. His large body was shaking as he tried to contain his fury, but he needed to either yell at him, or judging from the color of his face, have a stroke. While neither was preferable, he didn’t want Jared ill.

“Jared, please calm down,” Jensen tried to soothe him, “I don’t want you to end up in a bed here as well.”

“Now you’re worried about my fucking health?” Jared bellowed “Were you worried about it when you were fucking, Aldis?”

“Aldis?” Jensen echoed.

“Yes, Aldis, it makes sense now. You had family, parents, and siblings, but you leaned on Aldis and the mother fucker was sooo understanding when you needed to be out with me.”

“Jared, you’re wrong, there is nothing, nor has there ever been anything between Aldis and me other than friendship.”

Wiping tears from his eyes Jared reminded him, “Well that baby in your arms says differently.”

As if that was his cue the baby started fidgeting more and rooting at Jensen’s chest trying to find his food source. Had things been different, Jensen would have let the baby latch on, but for some reason he felt shy and wanted to wait until Jared had left, but the baby began to whine and he was left no choice but to expose himself and let the child eat.

Smiling as he watched the baby greedily suckle him, it was the first time that he just enjoyed looking at his child. No matter what was going to happen between them, this baby was his and he had to think about him first.

“What are we going to do, Jared because I told you I didn’t cheat,” Jensen asked never taking his eyes off the baby.

“And I repeat, the baby says differently,” Jared reminded him through gritted teeth.

Jensen’s answer was interrupted by shouting and a scuffle outside the door. Jared jumped up and opened the door while Jensen held the baby close to him in a protective manner.

When Jared opened the door, Jensen could see Jared’s brother Jeff and his brother Josh had an unsuspecting Aldis pinned to the wall as their mothers stepped in and tried to pull them apart. Jared jumped in the fray, not to join in, but to pull a bloody Aldis into the room with Jensen.

“Y’all need to talk,” he announced before closing the door and leaving Jensen and his business partner alone.

“What the fuck, Jensen?” Aldis questioned as he used the sleeve of his white shirt to wipe blood from his lip. “Why did your family go crazy when they saw me?”

“We were going to name him Morgan Misha, after the doctors that got us here, but I think I’m gonna name him Chance because someone needs to give him one.”

“What kind of answer is that,” Aldis spat.

Jensen knew the moment he really saw Chance, “He’s not…do they think that he’s mine.”

“I know that and you know that, but no matter what I say I can’t get them to believe it.”

“So who’s the dad Jensen?” Aldis asked. “I mean you gotta tell them the truth, you and I have never bumped uglies.”

Jensen did not answer because he did not know what happened, but he was not going to tell his friend that he and Jared had not had sex in over two years. He might confide in his friend, but that was information that only he and Jared needed to know.

Today was his son’s birthday and Jensen was sad that he was the only one there to celebrate it. The hospital security came in and escorted Aldis to his car because they did not want any more violence on the hospital grounds. Jared did not come back in to see Jensen but then Jensen did not expect him to because he knew that the man’s heart was broken.

It took all of Jensen’s will not to call and check on Jared, or at least check in with Sherri to make sure that Jared was taking his meds and eating, but he knew that a call from him would not be well received from either Padalecki.

Amanda came in to check his vitals and to see how the nursing was going.

“Mr. Ackles,” she began.

“Jensen,” he corrected, “Mr. Ackles is my dad.”

“Jensen, I hate to have to ask you this, but will baby Chance be going home to a safe environment? I had to report the incident in the hall and CPS may become involved.”

“No, he’s in no danger,” Jensen told her, “Jared may be livid, but he won’t take it out on the baby so you won’t have to worry about his safety.”

“This was a serious incident, fighting among your family, and since security was involved I’m afraid that I’ll have to let my superiors make that call.”

“I understand,” Jensen conceded. He really didn’t have the energy to argue. “Amanda, will the fertility specialist come a see me?”

“Most likely not, the Androcologist will, but you can request that he come visit you, would you like that?”

“Look at my child, Amanda, what do you think.”

Now that he was alone and his emotions weren’t all over the place, Jensen has had time to think. He knew that he did not cheat, no one but Jared has touched him sexually since the day he met the man, and so that left only one culprit, the fertility clinic.

An idiot could see that Jared was not Chances’ father, and even though his gut told him the he was, Jensen needed to make sure that he was more than an incubator before he became even more attached.

Whenever the door to his room opened, Jensen hoped and prayed that it was Jared coming back, but each time a scrub-clothed nurse or lab-coated doctor entered that prayer went up in flames. Not even his family members came to see them, to get to know Chance and that hurt.

He expected the Padaleckis to support Jared, but he never thought that his own family would stay away.

It did not help matters as Chance became attuned to his father’s emotions and began to cry, and increasing Jensen’s level of stress. Nor did it help the situation as Jensen noticed that the nurses who flittered in and out of his room looked at him with either sorrow or disgust because of his circumstances.

Dr. Collins came to see him two hours after his request and after reading Jensen’s chart; his body language said that he was annoyed for having to make an unnecessary visit.

 

A few seconds after Misha entered the room a stern faced woman followed him in and introduced herself as Loretta Devine, a social worker from CPS making Jensen hug his baby close, scared that she was going to take him away.

“Jensen I don’t understand why you insisted on this visit. There was no need for me to come here. If anything is wrong, then you need to contact your andro.”

“Misha, meet Chance,” Jensen said as he pulled back the blanket and showed the doctor his son. “Jared is very angry with me thinking I cheated, so this nice lady is here to make sure that my son has a stable home to go to.”

Misha stared at the baby stunned, at what he was seeing.

“You with me?” When Misha nodded, Jensen continued. “First of all I want you to know that the only reason that I am being calm and not going ape shit over this is that I don’t want to scare my child. Now, since we know that you didn’t use Jared’s sperm, I need to make sure that you used my eggs and that I have a claim to this child.”

“Jensen are you sure that there isn’t a possibility that...”

“You stop right there, “Jensen ground out. “You have ruined my marriage, had my family turn against me, and cheated Jared out of the child he wanted so desperately, so don’t you fucking dare try to turn this back on me!”

After another attempt to place the blame on Jensen, it took Loretta threatening to get social services involved before Misha agreed to run a DNA test run to determine who Chance’s other father was. Once he gave the orders for blood work from the baby, Misha almost ran from the room.

“It’s going to take some time for that test to come back, so tell me Jensen, what about you and the baby. Where are you going to go?” Loretta softly asked.

“I hadn’t thought about it, I just assumed we would go home,” Jensen sighed at the thought of having another problem to deal with. “But with Jared mad and I have no clue where my family stands, I don’t know.”

Loretta walked over to Jensen’s bed and held out her hands and asked, “May I hold him?” At Jensen’s reluctance, she assured him, “I’m not taking him, Jensen, I just want to hold him.”

She made goofy faces at the baby and Jensen watched as her years of experience soothed Chance and had him falling asleep.

“Unless there’s a problem, you’ll probably be released tomorrow; you need to have a place to go. If you can’t find somewhere, then call me,” she told him as she shifted the baby in her arms to pull a business card from her pocket. “We can place you in a shelter until you find suitable arrangements.”

The thought that he didn’t have a place to go never really occurred to him. If needed, he could always rent a place, but he was going home. Jensen had done nothing wrong and was not going to be punished for someone else’s mistake. If Jared wanted to be an ass then let him be one, but until the tests came back, Jensen would just have to suffer through his husband’s anger and self-righteousness. 

Loretta must have sensed that the young father needed someone to talk to, because she stayed and talked to him, parent to parent. They discussed the pros and cons of binky’s, pampers versus cloth diapers and breastfeeding over bottles.

It was all normal and served to ease Jensen’s tensions, so that by the time she left, Jensen actually had a smile on his face.

That lasted until the announcement for visiting hours.

At the statement, Jensen stared at the door as though the broadcast was going to make someone, anyone, (god he wanted his mama) visit. He had given up and began to fall asleep, but thirty minutes before visiting hours were to end, Jensen’s sister Mackenzie walked through that hated door followed by Jared’s baby sister, Megan, both bearing gifts and smiles.

He tried not to, but Jensen could not hold his tears back at the sight of their beautiful faces.

“No, no don’t cry Jen,” Mackenzie shushed him as she gave him a hug. “I know that everyone is being dicks, but in the end when you prove them wrong, they’ll come around.”

He knew that, but he had wanted them to believe him and not need a paternity test as proof.

Jensen glanced at Megan where she hovered in the doorway, “It looked as though you’re the only one to believe that, Mack.”

“No, Jensen,” Megan corrected, ducking her head to hide the blush, “I-I wasn’t sure that you wanted to see a Padalecki right now.

“I feel honored that you came to see me and my son, come in and meet him, Megan.”

The two young women oohed and ahhhed over their new nephew and bought another smile to Jensen’s face, he even laughed when they convinced his nurse to let them stay past visiting hours to help cheer Jensen up. Despite all of the chaos, Chance had done nothing wrong and deserved to be fawned over and have his birth celebrated and not reviled. No matter what happened tomorrow, Jensen would never forget the love from these two young women.

Dr. Cortese released him the next morning and he realized that he had no way of getting home. Jared had bought his suitcase that had clothes for him and the baby, but not the car seat for the baby and the hospital would not let them leave without it.

The hospital provided a car seat for new parents without one, and Jensen felt guilty about taking it when he had a perfectly good on in the back of his SUV. Dr. Cortese laughed and told him even though the one he’d purchased was better; this one would cost a helluva lot more because it would be billed on his insurance.

With the car seat issue settle, all he needed now was a car. He was positive that Jared was not going to answer his call, that left Jensen no choice but to call Aldis. His hands shook as he scrolled through the contact list on his phone, and when Aldis answered, Jensen let out the breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“I’m not about to get my ass kicked again, am I?”

“No, no of course not,” Jensen reassured him all the while praying that he was telling the truth.

It did not take Aldis long to arrive, but Jensen pursed his lips in frustration when he saw Matt Cohen sitting in the passenger seat.

As his friend and Matt grabbed his bag and other personal belongings, Amanda placed the car seat in the back and strapped the sleeping baby in before help Jensen slide in beside him.

Matt got in the car as Aldis received Jensen’s release paperwork and care instructions. It seemed that the young man couldn’t contain his curiosity and turned around to get a glance at the baby, he let out an audible gasp.

“No wonder he doesn’t want me,” He murmured angrily.

That explained the nasty attitude, but Jensen didn’t feel like dealing with that today, and if the young man broached the subject with Aldis, Jensen was sure that his friend would correct his mistake.

The car was quiet on the short drive to Jensen’s house, and he felt Jared’s absence even more when Aldis pulled into the drive.

There were no balloons, no stupid blue stork on the front lawn telling the world that Jensen had just given it a perfect baby boy and that he weighed 9lbs. and 5 oz. Jensen was positive that Jared had purchased all of the tacky birth announcements even though Jensen had told him not to, but in the end Jensen got his wish.

Right now he wanted it all. He wanted his mother and mother-in-law coming in and taking over, he wanted his and Jared’s sisters to bring some of the gifts he’s sure that they purchased, but most of all he wanted Jared.

Since he knew that Jared wasn’t coming, right now he just wanted to cry, but he refused to do that in front of Matt.

Once Aldis and Matt were gone, the house was quiet. Even Sadie was gone. He slowly made it up the steps with Chance to the nursery and settled the baby in. He’s not sure how long he stood there watching the newborn, but he didn’t want to leave him, but he had to get a nap before the baby woke.

There seemed to be nothing missing from the bedroom, Jared’s things were still where he’d left them, so Jensen couldn’t tell if he was gone for good or gone for the day.

Jensen was deep in slumber having a wonderful dream where he and Jared were playing with the baby when a hand pushing at his shoulders woke him.

“Your baby’s awake,” a cold voice informed him.

Still wrapped up in his dream, Jensen burrowed deeper under the covers and said tiredly, “’M tired, babe, can you get him?”

Suddenly the covers were torn from his body and the cool air helped wake him, but it was the coldness in Jared’s voice that really jolted him awake.

“Yours and Aldis’ baby is crying, go shut him up.”

Jensen wanted to scream, this isn’t Aldis’ baby, he’s mine, but until he had proof there was no way Jared was going to believe him, so carefully, he made his way to the nursery and took care of his crying child.

After that baby had been changed and fed, Jensen sat down in the antique rocker that Aldis had given him and sang to his child. He knew that once Jared calmed down, he was going to have to find a way to broach his belief that there was a mix up with the fertility clinic and that he didn’t fall on Aldis’ dick.

vvvv

Jared now had a new definition of hell, it was watching his husband care and love a child that he’d borne another man. As he watched his Jensen stroke Chance’s curly hair, he felt a little ill.

Watching Jensen as he was unaware has become Jared’s new pastime. He knew that this was a hell of his own making but he couldn’t make himself stop. Jensen and his son had been home a week and even though it hurt, he couldn’t stop.

Each time Jensen managed to take a nap, Jared stood and watched him sleep. There were remarkable changes in his husband in the past week and Jared didn’t realize that a person could look so haggard in seven days. Sleep deprivation and skipping meals would do that to a person.

If Jensen hadn’t cheated, Jared would have honored him for the precious gift he’d given him instead of watching him wear himself out. Logically, Jared knew that single parents did this every day, but Aldis should be here taking care of what he stole.

Jensen was living on catnaps and coffee and it wasn’t good for him or the baby. Jared itched to go in the bedroom and hold him so that he could get some real rest.

Aldis wasn’t the only one to blame, Donna Ackles had a lot to answer for as well because despite the fact that the baby wasn’t Jared’s it was Jensen’s and therefore Donna’s grandchild, but she has yet to visit.

When Jared informed her of Jensen’s condition, she refused to help out of solidarity to Sherry Padalecki and embarrassment.

Jensen’s mother- his mother believed that helping Jensen would hurt her friendship to Jared’s mother and was embarrassed that the good people of her church would believe that she condoned Jensen’s affair, so she left him to fend for himself.

He cursed both Aldis and Jensen, but mostly Aldis when he noticed how haggard his husband looked. Jensen didn’t make this baby by himself and shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden.

When he last spoke to Aldis, like Jensen he refused to admit that there had been anything other than friendship between them. With that in mind, before Jared changed his mind, he made his way to the kitchen and prepared a simple lunch of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. That was the extent of his culinary skills, but it would get Jensen the nutrition he needed.

After placing the food on the nightstand, Jared almost ran downstairs so that he wouldn’t be awake when Jensen woke. He didn’t want the thanks he was going to get. Just because Jensen hurt him, didn’t mean that he stopped loving that boy with the green eyes.

Once he was in his car, Jared really didn’t have a destination in mind, but he found himself in the parking lot of the Ackles-Hodge Galleries.

There must have been a murderous look in Jared’s eyes when he entered the building because Matt cut him off just as he spotted Aldis helping a customer. This was Jensen’s place of business, and he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that, but seeing the man made him furious.

“I know that this is about Jensen, but this is not the time or place,” Matt warned him through a fake smile.

“Perhaps not,” Jared crossed his arms across his chest and threatened, “but I’m not going to leave here until I talk to that bastard.” Jared informed him.

Jared was amused as he watched Matt’s inner war of trying to decide if it was easier to let him stay or put him foot down and insist that he leave,

To help him make up his mind, Jared drew himself up to his full six and a half feet and towered over the young man before warning, “I will keep coming back until he talks to me, and if that means creating a scene here in the store, then so be it.”

Very well then,” Matt conceded, “you can wait in the office.”

The young man didn’t wait to see if Jared followed him, he just turned on his heels and headed to the back of the store where the office was located.

Jared sat in the chair behind Jensen’s desk, and waited for Matt to leave.

“Look, I know that you’ve been sick for a while and that this is not your fault, but perhaps had you been this passionate about your husband in the past, he wouldn’t have strayed.”

“Who are you to tell me what went wrong in my marriage, but for your information, there were no clues that there was a problem.”

“I knew the minute that I saw them together,” he snarked before he turned and left the office.

Waiting for Aldis became torturous, because he was forced to think about what Matt flung at him as he left the office. He thought back over the past two years and wondered what he could have done differently and if he had, would it have prevented Jensen from straying.

To keep from focusing on Jensen and Aldis, Jared glanced around the room and took in the awards, magazine articles and personal mementos and realized that this office had more personal touches than their home.

Because he became ill shortly after they moved into their home, there was very little time to worry about the décor in their home. All they had been worried about was having someplace to sit and sleep.

Suddenly he couldn’t take it another moment. He knew that Jensen had put his life on hold to take care of him, so maybe he deserved to have the fling with Aldis, so he had to get out of there.

Jared’s flight from the store drew curious stares from both Aldis and Matt, but he didn’t care, he needed to get out of there.

He didn’t want to go to his family of his friends because he was tired of the nasty things that they were saying about Jensen, so he went home.

Sadie greeted him at the door with her I’m happy to see you dance, and for just a minute he gave her the attention that she had been seeking.

As he scratched Sadie behind her ears, he could hear Jensen in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. He couldn’t face Jensen either, so he headed towards the guest room he’d been using before Jensen saw him, but Jensen’s deep voice stopped him.

“Thanks for the lunch,” Jensen said softly.

“You’re welcome,” Jared replied as he continued to try to make an escape.

“Can we talk? Please,” Jensen begged.

He wasn’t ready to listen to Jensen deny what he’d done, so he turned and walked out of the house leaving a whining Sadie and a tearful Jensen in his wake.

With nowhere else to go Jared found himself at his mother’s. He really didn’t want to be here either, but he knew that she would be happy to see him because since Jensen’s baby was born she has tried to get him to come home. The other thing was when she began to irritate him, he could go up to his old room and close the door.

“Jared, honey, it’s good to see you,” She greeted.

“Hi Jared,” he was greeted from a familiar person seated at his mother’s table.

Oh shit, Donna Ackles were here.

"You look like you’ve had a rough day. Jensen?” Donna sympathized.

“Yes ma’am, I did,” Jared agreed.

“Well you’re here with your moms now,” She smiled.

As she helped his mom flutter around him, Jared couldn’t stand it a minute later, he finally had to ask.

"Aren't you going to ask about your son and grandson? Don’t you want to know that he ‘swearing himself out trying to take care of a newborn by himself?”

“No I’m not, Jared and neither should you. He embarrassed this family and put my relationship with the church and your mother in jeopardy so as far as I’m concerned he’s getting what he deserves.”

“I don’t get it, I mean my mom has every right to be angry on my behalf, and I understand that you’re hurt for my mom, but aren’t you going against everything the church teaches you about forgiveness and love?”

“You don’t understand Jared.”

“You’re right I don’t, but the woman I knew and loved would not abandon her family for any reason. Excuse me ladies,” he said as he pushed away from the table and made his way upstairs to his old bedroom.

He went back home the next afternoon, because he was tired of arguing with his mother about leaving Jensen, and besides, he was worried about Jensen not eating.

After greeting Sadie, he didn’t hear either Jensen or Chance and wondered if they were home. When he made his way into the den, he found Jensen asleep on the sofa where he had been folding Chance’s laundry. He looked around for the baby who chose that moment to cry giving away his location.

He was in his bassinet in the corner and Jared was tempted to wake Jensen, but surprised himself by picking the baby up and rocking him.

Taking the stairs, he went into the baby’s room and fumbled his way through a diaper change. When Chance gurgled his thanks, Jared fell in love.

The discussion about Chance’s parentage was still off the table, but for the next two weeks Jared took care of his family. H made sure that Jensen ate and rested and got to know the sweet little baby.  
“What’s wrong Jensen?” Jared asked after watching his husband wipe down the kitchen counter for the third time in fifteen minutes.

“I have an appointment with Misha tomorrow,” he answered so softly that Jared barely heard him.

“Why?” Jared asked keeping his eyes on the baby.

“It’s about- look you don’t have to go, I’ll take a taxi.”

The next morning, Jared watched as Jensen dressed the baby and fed him, refusing any help from him. When he called the taxi, his stomach plummeted. He was sure this visit was something about parentage, and he was scared that he was going to lose his family.

If Aldis was going to be there he was too. He had given them up once, but this time he would fight for them this time. No matter what their friends and family said, he and Jensen belonged together so he grabbed his keys and helped them to the car,

Jared was surprised that Aldis wasn’t there, but things must be bad judging by the look on Misha’s face.

"Hello guys,” the doctor greeted as they sat down and Jared couldn’t help but notice the difference from their last visit. Gone was the quirky smiling man and in his place was a stern man that Jared didn’t recognize,

“All I can say is that I’m sorry.”

He felt Jensen tense up and for a moment he thought that the man had stopped breathing, but he still didn’t know what the doctor was sorry for.

“Can you be more specific than that, what exactly are you sorry for?” Jensen asked.

“You are Chances’ father, Jensen.”

What the fuck was going on? Of course Jensen was Chance’s father that was never in question was it? Feeling the tension leaving Jensen’s body told him that it was.

"Apparently there was a mix up in the lab, and another donor’s sperm was used in place of Jared’s. In fact, this happened with four other couples, but you were the only one to bear a child from this…mistake.”

For the first time in his life, Jared was speechless; the wrong sperm? How the hell does that happen?

“There was a new tech in the lab and he… well it doesn’t matter what he did because he screwed up.”

“What about Jared’s sperm?” Jensen asked. “What happened to it?”

Jared couldn’t believe it. He was humbled by the fact that after all of the hell that he had put Jensen though he was worried about giving Jared a child of his own. He didn’t deserve this man. While Jensen was concerned about him, he had questions of his own.

“What about Chance’s other biological father, is he going to want his child?”

Jensen’s gasp told Jared that the thought never occurred to him.

“No, Jared. He was a paid donor, so you won’t have to worry about someone else coming to claim your child.”

The ride home was quiet, Chance slept and Jensen just stared out the window. It unnerved Jared because he had been expecting a demand for an I told you so, but he said nothing.

Even when they arrived home and had settled the baby, Jensen remained quiet. After weeks of begging Jared to listen to him, when he the results of the DNA test vindicated him, he still remained silent.

“I don’t understand how you can be so calm,” Jared admitted when he could no longer take the silence. “You have irrefutable proof that you were telling the truth, and if I were in your place I would be shoving those results down everyone’s throats.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen asked, “What good would that do? I mean is it really going to change the fact that they all turned on me- that Danneel and Chris actually asked for their gifts back? The only person who needs an explanation is Aldis, because despite all of the shit that came his way, he remained my friend and didn’t turn on me.”

"Jen..." Jared started to argue, but he stopped short because he didn't have a valid argument. Jensen was right they all had behaved like asses. He was even more at fault because the rest of them took their cues from him. All he had to do was take five minutes and listen, but his pride wouldn’t let him and now he felt sick at the thought of his behavior. Only Mack and Megan, the youngest family members were the only ones who didn’t judge.

“You’re right, I’ll apologize to Aldis, but do you have an idea what you want to tell everyone else?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? “Jared echoed.

“That’s right nothing. The people who judged and ridiculed me and never once offered a modicum of support do not deserve anything from me. Even if they learn the truth, our friendships will not be the same, so what’s the point.”

Jared wanted to argue, but he just nodded his head in agreement.

Chance chose that moment to cry, but his distress eased the tension, "I'll take him,” Jared said  
As he reached for the baby. He was in no hurry to change a soiled diaper, but it would give him something to do other than feeling guilty, and from the smell that accompanied the cry, he needed to hurry.

When he entered the nursery, Jared breathed a sigh of frustration, he had so much to make up for to both Jensen and this little guy who’d hasn’t been in this world long enough to cause anyone harm. As he removed the diaper, Chance emptied his bladder on both his and Jared’s clothes, and Jared laughed thinking it was fitting for the day.

He went into the drawer to get baby wipes and clean clothes and that’s when he spotted it, the onesie he purchased on the day that Jensen found out that he was pregnant. He picked up the special order onesie and dressed Chance in it.

When Jensen saw his son dressed in it he gave his first real smile of the day.

In his embarrassment, it took Jared two days to gather up the courage to visit Aldis. He timed the visit before store hours so that they wouldn’t be interrupted, but he was not surprised that the man was not happy to see him.

“What’s this another aborted attempt for whatever it was you had planned on your last visit?” Aldis snarked.

"No," Jared responded even more embarrassed, "Look I know that I don't have the right to ask, but can we talk?”

Aldis looked at Jared as though he was searching for something before agreeing, “Sure.”

“I know that it is nowhere near adequate, but sorry is all that I have, so I hope that you’ll accept my apology.”

“Oh, so the test results came in, huh?”

Wait Aldis knew about the DNA test?

“Why would he tell you and not me? I think that I deserved to know.”

“When was he supposed to tell you? I mean each time he broached the subject you ran to your stupid friends or to your mama. Had you taken the time to talk to him, then you would have known. When you were sick, everyone abandoned him and left him to cope on his own, they may have dressed it up real pretty in their heads that they were giving you guy’s space, but they abandoned him. Just like then, I was there for him and you’d best believe Jared Padalecki, if I did fall for him, I would have never left him there with your sorry ass. He stuck with you through your entire illness and never once complained, never let you know when he was scared, but the one time he needed you, you failed him. Your only saving grace is the fact that you took your head out of your ass before the tests came back.”

As he listened to Aldis, Jared felt like he did in elementary school when Mrs. Becker would chastise him for following one of Chad’s harebrained schemes.

Had he taken the time to listen would they be in a better place, a place where their family and friends never had a chance to disappoint Jensen?

He still thinks this was his fault, he just hoped he could make it better.

 

One year later

 

Jensen’s nerves were on edge; he felt as though he was being pulled in a million different directions, and all because he was planning a birthday for a one year old.

The problems started when in hopes of a truce, he allowed his mother and mother-in-law to assist him. Allowing them in seemed to make everyone think they were back in favor by association. He thought that it would be a good thing until he heard them talking about him.

Some of the ice had melted, but not as much as he’d thought, His mom finally accepted Chance as her grandson from the moment she first held him, and well she acknowledged him behind closed doors. There was no way she was going to endure the censure of her church members.

Jensen had wanted Aldis to be there, but he couldn’t do that to his friend, so he just placed his gift unmarked on the table with the others.

Placing his hand on his stomach, Jensen smiled and hoped that his son would soon have a brother or sister in eight months. He wasn’t sure but he thinks that this latest round of in vitro worked. He’d had the last embryo implanted when Jared was out of town doing research for his latest book.

Jared loved Chance, of that Jensen was sure, but he still wanted to give him the child that he’d promised all those months ago. He did this one in secret in case it didn’t take, he would be the only one disappointed.

By the end of the party, Jensen’s nerves were frazzled, but he’d do it again to see the smile on his child’s face.

Awkward should not be the words to describe a child’s first birthday party, but there was not another one that fit. Jared’s parents did not understand why their son had so readily accepted another man’s child as his own and the Ackles were just embarrassed. 

It would have been so much easier to tell everyone what happened, but he and Jared agreed that they didn’t deserve to know the truth. He didn’t understand why they just couldn’t love this child for who he was and not what they thought he should be. It made him angry that their family and friends would judge them so harshly.

Jared had done the same, but his hurt was understandable, and once he loved this child, he figured everyone else should as well. It was a good theory in fairytales but in real life not so much.

 

Jared and Jensen settled into bed, exhausted emotionally from Chance’s first birthday party. Tomorrow was going to be a long day for Jensen as he had an appointment with his Androcologist and he was keeping it a secret just as he had the visit to the fertility specialist. What he was unaware of was the fact that they both had doctors’ appointments the next morning, and Jared was keeping his a secret as well. The reasoning was because both visits would be life altering and there was no need to excite or worry without results even if they were sure of the outcome. One visit would result in bringing forth new life and the other would announce the end an existing one.

 

The End


End file.
